Just a little bit of some things that never seem to matter.

Lost in my I-pod for days now. Sadly it keeps me locked in my head and I have never done well when left there alone. I don't feel depressed or anything lately I just feel...I don't know sort of like I don't feel. I wonder if I am to far into somethings to turn back. I wanna be somewhere else just for a little bit. I keep expecting grater things only to find worse ones. However this is not hurting me just simply adding to the reasons I don't feel.

I think I am not so much annoyed by the routineness of life but of the dissapointment in life. I seem to get the things I only think I want and not the things I truly want.

I feel like noone understands that the reason I do little things for them is not only to put a smile on their face but kind of like a hoping they will do them for me. I miss the days when my friends would just leave me little notes for the hell of it or someone sent me a goodmorning text just because they were awake and knew I wasn't yet. I dislike the fact that I have to beg for my friends to tell me whats wrong only for them to lie about it when they are fully aware I know the truth.

I was stunned the other day when an hour long shower made my week worth while. It made me feel a little sad when i thought about it later. Who am I right now? I am missing people I have never met and wishing people I love would just go away for a while. I am restless to say the least.

I don't even think this shit is making sense right about now as I am jumping from one thing to another but I am just typing thoughts cause I feel like blogging. I think I want a new piercing in my face but I can't decide which one and I'm broke. I would much rather have a new piece of ink but I'm def to broke for that.

I WANT TO GO!!!!!

I don't know where I want to go I just know I want to. I feel bored all the time.

Ugh fuck this I don't feel like blogging anymore.

I can't explain this.

Somedays I am dust in the wind,
and others I am the wind carrying dust.

I feel no motivation for my motives have been crushed.

I lie in waiting,
but for what I do not know.

I am sleepless in a world which sadly does not go.

I see,
and I think sometimes I feel.

The yearning for silence is often all to real.

I am not worthy of such greatness,
but it's okay as I am not great.



Contemplate!
© Amanda R. Wishard