I speak words of wisdom and on occasion someone will listen. People tend to be shocked by some of the things I think. Most people don't believe I have the mind I have and I sort of like it that way. I never have to prove my wits if I allow people to believe I am a simple halfwit. My mind feels old at times. I think things many would never even begin to conjure. It is a weight that I usualy don't mind carrying but every now and again it starts to hurt. I truly believe ignorance is bliss, wish I was a bit more ignorant at times. Many would tell you that I am but truth is I know more about alot of people then they know about themselves I just choose not to tell them. I also know alot about people that noone is supposed to know and they are not aware that I have this knowledge. It is a fine feeling to know that people think so little of me. Now that may sound odd but I would prefer to stun or shock then dissapoint. Okay well anyways I have other things to talk about but I do not wish to write a whole other blog so a few taps on the enter key and then I will proceed. :)
I MISS YOU!
There are people in my life right now who I miss dearly even tho they are here. I have not been myself for sometime. Atleast not they myself many of these people know. I have been....well I dont even have a word for it but I'm sorry guys I promise this will not last forever. I have just been in an odd state of confusion with my own life lately. Been stuck in my head for months and that always kills me.
To a certian guy I have had on my mind lately....love you being around, hate you being around, scared about you being around, excited about you being around. So many thoughts I am dying to let you know but alas I never will as I plan to be gone in a matter of time. Just know that you are simply amazing in the way you make me feel just by being you. Thanks for being my friend it is one of the best feelings I have ever had in my life to know that you are simply my friend and you are in my life no matter what happens. To the bestfriend on the planet....YOU ARE INCREDIBLE!!! You do nothing and it makes me happy. You do little things and it makes me happy. You do everything and it makes me happy. You do bad things and still it makes me happy. I don't even remember what life was like before you. You are truly the one person not related to me that I love unconditionaly and will continue to do that for the rest of my life. To a certian girl I have recently removed from my life....It's hard to understand how I can push you out and still love you but I do. If by some random chance of fate you see this please know that no matter what if you really need me for something I will be here I just find it eaiser to live daily without you. This sounds stupid as hell yes but it is probably one of the truest things I have ever said in my life. If I take you out of my daily equation it is eaiser to miss you and eaiser to deal with the fact that you trust someone like that over me. I say this because I know how she is. She always says the right things but by now Im pretty damn sure its all fake. Besides she isnt gonna get anywhere in life as long as she holds on to "it" and allows "it" to ruin perfectly good friendships and relationships in her life. When I think about it tho I guess you two will work well as friends you know what they say...it takes one to know one weeeelllll obsessive meet obsessive. Bestfriendage is a must cause your the only ones who think it's okay to be the way you two are. Logical people let shit like that go and move on to bigger and better...think about it ladies.
