Dear Mr.Matt Ryder

Not that I believe you are ever going to see this but I am going to write it anyways because I need to feel better and it's simple as that.

You swore up and down that our friendship ment so much to you but if that was the case how come you were always such a shitty friend to me? How come in the begining when I wouldn't date you it had to mean I wasnt worth your time? On the same note what made you think when you came up to me that day at my job that I would just be all happy to see you? If you were really my friend you wouldnt have left me high and dry as many times as you did for NO FUCKING REASON I might add. Why is it that everytime you more or less dipped out on our "friendship" I had to come to you just to make you talk to me again? Hey Matt how often to you go to your friends house? and how often did you come to mine? When we broke up you said you never came over because of my mom....which is dumb as shit but ok fine then explain why when I didnt live with her and we were just friends you still never came to my fucking house?? even when you had a car!! Same thing with the parties...You were invited to alot of them and always made up a lame ass excuse as to why you couldnt come.

As far as our relationship went it was all bullshit and it was because of you not me. Granted I am not perfect and I didnt do EVERYTHING right but there was alot more things you didnt do right. I have a job 6days a week sometime 10 or 11 hrs a day and yet you were constantly telling me how I never came to see you enough. Why did it always have to be me? Why did I have to do all the work and then hear all the bullshit about how I wasnt doing ENOUGH work??? Thats total crap!! For your information Matt I spent alot of time beating myself up about the fact that I was to tired to go anywhere and that ment not seeing you. I should have never had to do that to myself but you caused that and it's not right despite what you want to think. You remember how I said we didn't connect on that emotional level? well you wanna know why? You never made me feel like I could talk to you about serious things. I felt like if I did I would get nothing but immature comments and responses. I know for a fact I have opened my ears to you even if you didnt want them I laid them down for you and I never got that from you.

I know I wasnt the best at showing you how I felt but I honestly tried I was just never really tought how and thats not any of our faults it's just something I don't think you ever really knew.

Now when I asked you if you cheated and you asked why....here is why. 2 days after we broke up you post a photo of you kissing the girl you made me go pick up at 3am who btw you talked shit about when she got out of the car incase you forgot. Also you talked about how your heart went to whereever the fuck she lives.....if she is your heart she must have been for sometime(cause that dont happen overnight)and if she is your heart then hunny you did cheat. Not physicaly but emotionaly and thats worse then having sex with someone. Why?? because it means you are not truly in your actual relationship just physicly there.

I had much more to say however I'm sick as shit and my nyquil is kicking in just if you see this keep in mind I do not hate you just can't let you hurt me anymore and I know only I can stop it so thats what I am doing. If you have anything to say you know how to find me but otherwise I'm basicaly done.

P.S.-I lied I do love you but I'm certinaly not in love with you....it could have happened I'm sure but Ill never know.

DUCES MOTHERFUCKER!!!