So yesturday was the all but fabulous 4:20 holiday and as it tends togo I spent 99% of my day in a complete daze. I worked 10-1:30 and when I got home...oh snap it was fucking on like donkey kong. I packed a bowl almost the minute I got home and like 30minutes later a friend of mine came over and we just steady smoked away til 7 or so. Of course I continues to smoke til about 8:30. The only time I got my ass out of the chair was to get munchies and a drink and when I moved to the couch after my friend left.
I was so dazed I was out by 9:30ish. I don't even remember what I watched or really any of the conversations I had except from the very begining of the day.
HOWEVER!!!! I did learn something...Did you know when moutian dew spoils it turns white?
SOOOOOOOOO I'm excited!!!! On May 29th this awsome comedian I met on myspace will be in clearwater doing a show. I can't wait to finally meet this guy. He is fucking amazing. I think anyone and evryone who reads this should come out and see the show I'll post more details as I get them.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Just random bullshitting
So lately I have been running into ones I used to know or meeting new cute guys. I been feeling unstoppable about it lately. Saturday night both of my eye candies were at work and when I got off both of my eye candies from sonny's were there hanging out. I was on hott boy cloud nine. Then last nite I went on a "date" with a guy from work. I had alot of fun and it was good to get out of the fucking house.
Ok well I went and seen kickass and it was simply that!
It had its slow moments but it was funny as hell and in the end it really did kickass. However I'm pretty sure they are going to make another one and I'm not sure I totaly agree that they should as it ended well enough not to. Sequels always suck anyways so why fuck with a good thing.
On the topic of movies...random thought. I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad noone has ever tried to remake the wizard of oz. I hate when people mess with perfection. It's rare to find good movies and shit yeah that def was one.
Ok well I went and seen kickass and it was simply that!
It had its slow moments but it was funny as hell and in the end it really did kickass. However I'm pretty sure they are going to make another one and I'm not sure I totaly agree that they should as it ended well enough not to. Sequels always suck anyways so why fuck with a good thing.
On the topic of movies...random thought. I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo glad noone has ever tried to remake the wizard of oz. I hate when people mess with perfection. It's rare to find good movies and shit yeah that def was one.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I can't help but wonder
How do people define friendship? What do people have to do for you for you to consider them your friend?
Me I define a friend like this:
Someone you can have fun with even if your doing nothing
Someone who you can talk to and trust they wont tell other people what you say
Someone who is there when you're crying
Someone who will blow off plans when you REALLY need them
Someone who cares if your hurting, sick, or sad
Someone who knows your flaws but loves you anyways
and most of all someone who you would be willing to do all these things for aswell.
I try very hard to do these things for people I consider friends but lately it seems that none of those people are willing to do these things for me. I can only wonder what I did to make these people treat me like I am not really a friend but just some person they hang out with from time to time.
Now what brought this on you ask well...
...I have been sick for a few days now and I'm not getting any better so I decided I was going to go to the E.R. but didn't want to go alone so I started calling people to go with me and NOONE will. Even tho many of these people I have bent over backwards for in the past. Sad part is none of them had to do ANYTHING. I would have picked them up from their house and taken them back home when I got out but yet noone was willing to go. I don't ask my friends for much because I don't ever feel right about asking people to do things for me even tho they ask me for things quite often. They only one of them that even said they would go is my bestfriend but she has a baby so I wasnt going to have the baby around me out of fear she would get sick.
I feel quite betrayed at this point and I hope that someday people will learn to be better friends to the right people.
Me I define a friend like this:
Someone you can have fun with even if your doing nothing
Someone who you can talk to and trust they wont tell other people what you say
Someone who is there when you're crying
Someone who will blow off plans when you REALLY need them
Someone who cares if your hurting, sick, or sad
Someone who knows your flaws but loves you anyways
and most of all someone who you would be willing to do all these things for aswell.
I try very hard to do these things for people I consider friends but lately it seems that none of those people are willing to do these things for me. I can only wonder what I did to make these people treat me like I am not really a friend but just some person they hang out with from time to time.
Now what brought this on you ask well...
...I have been sick for a few days now and I'm not getting any better so I decided I was going to go to the E.R. but didn't want to go alone so I started calling people to go with me and NOONE will. Even tho many of these people I have bent over backwards for in the past. Sad part is none of them had to do ANYTHING. I would have picked them up from their house and taken them back home when I got out but yet noone was willing to go. I don't ask my friends for much because I don't ever feel right about asking people to do things for me even tho they ask me for things quite often. They only one of them that even said they would go is my bestfriend but she has a baby so I wasnt going to have the baby around me out of fear she would get sick.
I feel quite betrayed at this point and I hope that someday people will learn to be better friends to the right people.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Sick does not mean preggo.
So I have noticed the last 3 times I was sick people kept asking if I was pregnat. I was never quite sure why but then today I put it together. When your sick and have a fever alot of times you can get dizzy or feel off balance and I don't know about other people but when I get dizzy I hold my stomach because it helps me balance myself out. I assume when I do this they think I'm quezy and for some reason unknown to me everytime a girl has an upset stomach people automaticaly assume they are pregnat. So inconclusion...I am not preggo not now and never have been also just because a female is sick doesnt mean she is preggo and it's actually really fucking rude to ask that so maybe ppl shouldnt do it anymore.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Dear Mr.Matt Ryder
Not that I believe you are ever going to see this but I am going to write it anyways because I need to feel better and it's simple as that.
You swore up and down that our friendship ment so much to you but if that was the case how come you were always such a shitty friend to me? How come in the begining when I wouldn't date you it had to mean I wasnt worth your time? On the same note what made you think when you came up to me that day at my job that I would just be all happy to see you? If you were really my friend you wouldnt have left me high and dry as many times as you did for NO FUCKING REASON I might add. Why is it that everytime you more or less dipped out on our "friendship" I had to come to you just to make you talk to me again? Hey Matt how often to you go to your friends house? and how often did you come to mine? When we broke up you said you never came over because of my mom....which is dumb as shit but ok fine then explain why when I didnt live with her and we were just friends you still never came to my fucking house?? even when you had a car!! Same thing with the parties...You were invited to alot of them and always made up a lame ass excuse as to why you couldnt come.
As far as our relationship went it was all bullshit and it was because of you not me. Granted I am not perfect and I didnt do EVERYTHING right but there was alot more things you didnt do right. I have a job 6days a week sometime 10 or 11 hrs a day and yet you were constantly telling me how I never came to see you enough. Why did it always have to be me? Why did I have to do all the work and then hear all the bullshit about how I wasnt doing ENOUGH work??? Thats total crap!! For your information Matt I spent alot of time beating myself up about the fact that I was to tired to go anywhere and that ment not seeing you. I should have never had to do that to myself but you caused that and it's not right despite what you want to think. You remember how I said we didn't connect on that emotional level? well you wanna know why? You never made me feel like I could talk to you about serious things. I felt like if I did I would get nothing but immature comments and responses. I know for a fact I have opened my ears to you even if you didnt want them I laid them down for you and I never got that from you.
I know I wasnt the best at showing you how I felt but I honestly tried I was just never really tought how and thats not any of our faults it's just something I don't think you ever really knew.
Now when I asked you if you cheated and you asked why....here is why. 2 days after we broke up you post a photo of you kissing the girl you made me go pick up at 3am who btw you talked shit about when she got out of the car incase you forgot. Also you talked about how your heart went to whereever the fuck she lives.....if she is your heart she must have been for sometime(cause that dont happen overnight)and if she is your heart then hunny you did cheat. Not physicaly but emotionaly and thats worse then having sex with someone. Why?? because it means you are not truly in your actual relationship just physicly there.
I had much more to say however I'm sick as shit and my nyquil is kicking in just if you see this keep in mind I do not hate you just can't let you hurt me anymore and I know only I can stop it so thats what I am doing. If you have anything to say you know how to find me but otherwise I'm basicaly done.
P.S.-I lied I do love you but I'm certinaly not in love with you....it could have happened I'm sure but Ill never know.
DUCES MOTHERFUCKER!!!
You swore up and down that our friendship ment so much to you but if that was the case how come you were always such a shitty friend to me? How come in the begining when I wouldn't date you it had to mean I wasnt worth your time? On the same note what made you think when you came up to me that day at my job that I would just be all happy to see you? If you were really my friend you wouldnt have left me high and dry as many times as you did for NO FUCKING REASON I might add. Why is it that everytime you more or less dipped out on our "friendship" I had to come to you just to make you talk to me again? Hey Matt how often to you go to your friends house? and how often did you come to mine? When we broke up you said you never came over because of my mom....which is dumb as shit but ok fine then explain why when I didnt live with her and we were just friends you still never came to my fucking house?? even when you had a car!! Same thing with the parties...You were invited to alot of them and always made up a lame ass excuse as to why you couldnt come.
As far as our relationship went it was all bullshit and it was because of you not me. Granted I am not perfect and I didnt do EVERYTHING right but there was alot more things you didnt do right. I have a job 6days a week sometime 10 or 11 hrs a day and yet you were constantly telling me how I never came to see you enough. Why did it always have to be me? Why did I have to do all the work and then hear all the bullshit about how I wasnt doing ENOUGH work??? Thats total crap!! For your information Matt I spent alot of time beating myself up about the fact that I was to tired to go anywhere and that ment not seeing you. I should have never had to do that to myself but you caused that and it's not right despite what you want to think. You remember how I said we didn't connect on that emotional level? well you wanna know why? You never made me feel like I could talk to you about serious things. I felt like if I did I would get nothing but immature comments and responses. I know for a fact I have opened my ears to you even if you didnt want them I laid them down for you and I never got that from you.
I know I wasnt the best at showing you how I felt but I honestly tried I was just never really tought how and thats not any of our faults it's just something I don't think you ever really knew.
Now when I asked you if you cheated and you asked why....here is why. 2 days after we broke up you post a photo of you kissing the girl you made me go pick up at 3am who btw you talked shit about when she got out of the car incase you forgot. Also you talked about how your heart went to whereever the fuck she lives.....if she is your heart she must have been for sometime(cause that dont happen overnight)and if she is your heart then hunny you did cheat. Not physicaly but emotionaly and thats worse then having sex with someone. Why?? because it means you are not truly in your actual relationship just physicly there.
I had much more to say however I'm sick as shit and my nyquil is kicking in just if you see this keep in mind I do not hate you just can't let you hurt me anymore and I know only I can stop it so thats what I am doing. If you have anything to say you know how to find me but otherwise I'm basicaly done.
P.S.-I lied I do love you but I'm certinaly not in love with you....it could have happened I'm sure but Ill never know.
DUCES MOTHERFUCKER!!!
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